Spocko talks to God. Just like the President!
Spocko: Dear Mr. God. Did you really tell George W. Bush to attack Iraq?
God: Hell no! I don't make junk, but seriously I thought I made enough smart people so they wouldn't put one of my lesser models in charge! Christ.
Christ: Yeah, Dad?
God: Go down and talk to those people.
Christ: Do I have to? The last time I did that they KILLED ME!
God: I know, I saw that stupid movie. Which reminds me, I'm going to put another boil on Mel Gibson's ass. Alright, you can stay. Then ask your mother to go talk to them again.
Mary: I tried! Recently too! I was on a YOUdamn cheese sandwitch for 10 years and NO ONE PAID A LICK of attention to me. I was trying to remind them, "Blessed are the Peace makers," but somehow it got translated from Angelic to English as "Blessed are the Cheese makers." So no wonder no one got the point. I knew I shouldn't have tried Angelic to English converters, the translations to Portuguese are much better. American's are so stupid these days. TV's made them dumber than sheep herders! Hey let's send The Holy Spirit, he's not doing anything important these days, he can go haunt that goofball they put in charge.
Christ: Bush?
Mary: No. Dick Cheney. Jesus, pay attention Christ or no manna for dinner for you.
Christ: Ah Mom.
Mary: Don't you "Ah Mom" me, or I won't let you help the Red Sox anymore.
God: Hell no! I don't make junk, but seriously I thought I made enough smart people so they wouldn't put one of my lesser models in charge! Christ.
Christ: Yeah, Dad?
God: Go down and talk to those people.
Christ: Do I have to? The last time I did that they KILLED ME!
God: I know, I saw that stupid movie. Which reminds me, I'm going to put another boil on Mel Gibson's ass. Alright, you can stay. Then ask your mother to go talk to them again.
Mary: I tried! Recently too! I was on a YOUdamn cheese sandwitch for 10 years and NO ONE PAID A LICK of attention to me. I was trying to remind them, "Blessed are the Peace makers," but somehow it got translated from Angelic to English as "Blessed are the Cheese makers." So no wonder no one got the point. I knew I shouldn't have tried Angelic to English converters, the translations to Portuguese are much better. American's are so stupid these days. TV's made them dumber than sheep herders! Hey let's send The Holy Spirit, he's not doing anything important these days, he can go haunt that goofball they put in charge.
Christ: Bush?
Mary: No. Dick Cheney. Jesus, pay attention Christ or no manna for dinner for you.
Christ: Ah Mom.
Mary: Don't you "Ah Mom" me, or I won't let you help the Red Sox anymore.
9 Comments:
Priceless, Spocko!
GradeSchoolTeach
I always thought that Christianity was all a big misunderstanding. They've got their wine, they've got their crackers, all they need now is the cheeses, not Jesus.
I'm speechless. That is the height of sacriliege. I can't say much more
Kott
Um...it's not sacralidge if you don't believe in Christianity in the first place.
sacriliege? Yes.
But accurate and funny.
God speaks to me too ... and I hear him laughing as he reads this and saying "THIS guy gets it! What's wrong with the rest of you?" :)
Goodness. So creating a fake conversation between, God, Mary, Jesus and the Holy Spirit is a sacriledge? Don't you think God has a sense of humor? What about Ostridges? Duckbill paltapuses? Humor and the church has a long history. I have a good friend who is a story teller and a clown who has a Ph.D. from the Pacific School of Religion. The tragedy is a President who pretends to say God speaks to him and that God wants this war. Who's "God" is doing the talking? The God of the old testatment? The God of Jerry Falwell? The God, of Jesus in the New Testament who loves us unconditionally? Jesus called that God Abba, the personal form of father.
Unless someone has a proven track record of getting communication from God (Moses, Job, Jesus), then my silly story that God didn't tell George Bush to attack Iraq could be JUST AS VALID as his. If I'm a Christian and I believe in the loving God of the New Testament it would see inconsistent to me that this God would tell George W. Bush to attack Iraq. If this is the basis for his policy decisions then I have a problem. In American we have decided that the Constitution IS the highest power in the land, not God talking directly to someone. The President should represent the will of the people, not the will of God. That is a totally different role. Bush is the President, not Moses.
Goodness. So creating a fake conversation between, God, Mary, Jesus and the Holy Spirit is a sacriledge? Don't you think God has a sense of humor? What about Ostridges? Duckbill paltapuses? Humor and the church has a long history. I have a good friend who is a story teller and a clown who has a Ph.D. from the Pacific School of Religion. The tragedy is a President who pretends to say God speaks to him and that God wants this war. Who's "God" is doing the talking? The God of the old testatment? The God of Jerry Falwell? The God, of Jesus in the New Testament who loves us unconditionally? Jesus called that God Abba, the personal form of father.
Unless someone has a proven track record of getting communication from God (Moses, Job, Jesus), then my silly story that God didn't tell George Bush to attack Iraq could be JUST AS VALID as his. If I'm a Christian and I believe in the loving God of the New Testament it would see inconsistent to me that this God would tell George W. Bush to attack Iraq. If this is the basis for his policy decisions then I have a problem. In American we have decided that the Constitution IS the highest power in the land, not God talking directly to someone. The President should represent the will of the people, not the will of God. That is a totally different role. Bush is the President, not Moses.
Compliments on the post. Made me chuckle.
That was funny! Bravo!
BTW, you double-posted on your own blog! lol
Good stuff here. Glad I came by. Your blogwhoring has paid off!
--G.P.
Post a Comment
<< Home