A Modified Form of Shunning

I love Miss Manners. She takes things that appear to be about an etiquette rule and addresses the real issue underneath it all.

Today I spotted an H2. It was shiny and dark green. It looked ready to roll over pesky humans.

Looking for Hummer photos to illustrate post this I noticed no photos on the official site showed the "car" looming over people or cars. No mention of gas mileage could be found. There were no photos of them rolling over things or people and crushing them. No photos of the actual size of the men's... egos before and after their purchase.

As I crossed the street in front of the behemoth, I peered through the windshield. Who buys these things?

Driver: Male. 30ish. Sunglasses, not mirrored, but that colored coating going on that forms rainbows. Dark hair. Hairline receding. Dark warm up type jacket with a "sheen" to it.

Passenger: Female. 30ish Blonde "South Bay" haircut with dark roots showing. Tan. Too much makeup. Wearing a white jacket and a white ribbed sweater. Gold jewelry and accessories.

I wanted to say or do something to express my displeasure with their choice of vehicle. But who am I to tell them what to do? Aren't they free to do what ever they want if they can afford it? Isn't this America?

These articles (from The Detroit News) make the point--more that once--that the owners of these vehicles don't care about what others think. The owners can't be allowed to care because if they did they might feel shame. Why does one author argue so hard for not caring if there wasn't some nagging feeling of shame? Instead, there is the suggestion that owners:

• bully themselves through the shame
• surround themselves with others who don't care
• mock people who do care
• dispute science and society and any rational reasons to care
• deny that their choices have any impact

In the cause of disassociating themselves from the rest of the world, papers are commissioned, think tanks are created, PR firms are hired and op/ed authors are paid to say you don't have to care.They want to send a message to people that Caring about others is weak. And for men, it’s not a “manly thing to do”. Real men don’t hug trees.

Anything that hints of a connection and responsibility for anyone other than themselves is twisted, denied or ridiculed. If they weren’t, childhood lessons of right and wrong might come rushing back. Imagine this H2 owner as a child:

If Sam eats 3/4's of the cake that means the other five kids will get less. Then Sam has to come up with rationalizations for WHY what he did was okay.

"It's my party! I deserve more! I got here first! Three kids are girls and they don't really want more cake anyway. They are on a (mocking tone)...diet... I NEED this cake so I can ride my bike really fast! My mom baked it so I should get most of it. If I didn't invite you, you wouldn't get ANY cake, so be grateful. Finally, "My mom will go and buy some more cake for everyone else. Let's pay soldier until she gets back from the store!"

As Miss Manners would point out, part of getting along in society is good manners. Society uses subtle and not so subtle methods to express their displeasure and encourage certain activities.

Trying to explain the impact of their choices to these drivers would do nothing, they have set up a worldview where they won't take in conflicting info. But maybe a modified form of shunning would help change attitudes.

In the future when I see a Hummer, H2 or huge SUV I will point and laugh and maybe roll my eyes as I shake my head to say to them, "You silly men and women under the illusion you are safer in your vehicle. You think you are not a part of society, and bear no responsibility for your choices that impact all of us, but your choices do matter, now stop eating all the cake."