Fox News phones tapped. Murdock Talking to Bin Laden Agents
-By Nicholas Kurtzman and Ian Warrenn
THE WASHINGTONIAN TIMES*
January 21, 2006.
(WT) New York-- Media giant Rupert Murdock was hauled out of his hotel room in New York this morning on charges of talking to people with terrorist connections. Following the perp walk through the lobby of the Grand Hyatt he was quoted as saying. "I was just trying to buy Osama's life story for a book we titled 'How I made George W. Bush my Bitch.' Someone tapped my phone!" He screamed as he was placed in the patty wagon along with other high-level journalmalism practicers at Fox News.
Fox News Anchor Brit Hume was also taken into custody while he was still broadcasting the evening's information. As dozens of Fox News watchers watched live, Hume yelled "I know President BUSH! President Bush is my friend! I've cut brush with him! I'm innocent! Raewgal, Rangean, Brulgoooo!!"
Sadly the incident was marred by a fatality. Following the detention of Hume, John "Five in the Noggin" Gibson tried to run from the federal agents and was ironically shot five times in the head.
It was later determined that he did not have a bomb but a book bag with several copies of his bright red book "The War on Christmas" which to Homeland Security Troops looked like a bag of dynamite. The Department of Homeland Security regrets the error. "He ran, he had a heavy bag with him, he had associated with people who had conversations with potential terrorists, so our agents had no choice but to shoot him to protect the people in the area. We had only seconds to decide. Sure it's sad, but what if he HAD a bomb and it had gone off? Then you would all be crying that we didn't do enough to protect you. Look, sometimes these things happen, and I'm sure if Mr. Gibson were alive today he would be the first to agree with us." said Jack Lint assistant deputy director of the HSD department of information retrieval.
Further information about these arrests and the detainees will remain classified indefinitely.
*Washingtonian Times is not to be confused with The Washington Times, the multi-million dollar money losing paper owned by Rev. Sun Myung Moon, A.K.A: the Messiah
I wonder, would this be the story and the headline that would get Freepers attention as to why this un-warrented spying is a bad idea? As one of my wonderful readers, Ellroon said over at the home for wayward cats, one of the arguments that gets thrown up regarding Bush breaking the law to spy on American citizens with out getting an easily obtainable warrant is that "I don't have anything to hide. Do you? What's the big deal?" I think that some of these people just won't care until they realize that they are about 3 clicks away from being thrown in jail like "Buttle"
when the government is looking for "Tuttle".
Or maybe they will care (as John A over at Americablog postulated) if we got a list of people with international contacts with Al Qaeda and see that they are journalists. But maybe they still wouldn't care. Who would they care about?
"Mrs. Buttle, this is your receipt for your husband... and this is my receipt for your receipt."
THE WASHINGTONIAN TIMES*
January 21, 2006.
(WT) New York-- Media giant Rupert Murdock was hauled out of his hotel room in New York this morning on charges of talking to people with terrorist connections. Following the perp walk through the lobby of the Grand Hyatt he was quoted as saying. "I was just trying to buy Osama's life story for a book we titled 'How I made George W. Bush my Bitch.' Someone tapped my phone!" He screamed as he was placed in the patty wagon along with other high-level journalmalism practicers at Fox News.
Fox News Anchor Brit Hume was also taken into custody while he was still broadcasting the evening's information. As dozens of Fox News watchers watched live, Hume yelled "I know President BUSH! President Bush is my friend! I've cut brush with him! I'm innocent! Raewgal, Rangean, Brulgoooo!!"
Sadly the incident was marred by a fatality. Following the detention of Hume, John "Five in the Noggin" Gibson tried to run from the federal agents and was ironically shot five times in the head.
It was later determined that he did not have a bomb but a book bag with several copies of his bright red book "The War on Christmas" which to Homeland Security Troops looked like a bag of dynamite. The Department of Homeland Security regrets the error. "He ran, he had a heavy bag with him, he had associated with people who had conversations with potential terrorists, so our agents had no choice but to shoot him to protect the people in the area. We had only seconds to decide. Sure it's sad, but what if he HAD a bomb and it had gone off? Then you would all be crying that we didn't do enough to protect you. Look, sometimes these things happen, and I'm sure if Mr. Gibson were alive today he would be the first to agree with us." said Jack Lint assistant deputy director of the HSD department of information retrieval.
Further information about these arrests and the detainees will remain classified indefinitely.
*Washingtonian Times is not to be confused with The Washington Times, the multi-million dollar money losing paper owned by Rev. Sun Myung Moon, A.K.A: the Messiah
I wonder, would this be the story and the headline that would get Freepers attention as to why this un-warrented spying is a bad idea? As one of my wonderful readers, Ellroon said over at the home for wayward cats, one of the arguments that gets thrown up regarding Bush breaking the law to spy on American citizens with out getting an easily obtainable warrant is that "I don't have anything to hide. Do you? What's the big deal?" I think that some of these people just won't care until they realize that they are about 3 clicks away from being thrown in jail like "Buttle"
when the government is looking for "Tuttle".
Or maybe they will care (as John A over at Americablog postulated) if we got a list of people with international contacts with Al Qaeda and see that they are journalists. But maybe they still wouldn't care. Who would they care about?
"Mrs. Buttle, this is your receipt for your husband... and this is my receipt for your receipt."
1 Comments:
This is hilarious and scary at the same time. Too close to truth to be laughed away, and too funny not to laugh.
Can you imagine us 6 years ago thinking this would be amusing? Look at the level of discussions we are having about the essence of what it is to be an American. Bush has lead us to a low we had no idea existed.
Thanks for well written humor, Spocko! And Fuck Bush!
Post a Comment
<< Home