Bush Image Control. That is NOT a Beer!

U.S. President George W. Bush (C) is joined by President of the Washington Nationals' Stan Kasten (L) and Nationals' General Manager Jim Bowden as they watch the Washington Nationals' baseball team play in Washington, July 5, 2007. REUTERS/Jim Young (UNITED STATES)

When Pansypoo over at First-Draft saw this image her question was:
A. "who does he think he's fooling?"

Q. The media. And 28 percent of the people all of the time.

I'm glad nobody asked him what it was. I'm sure we would have a logical explanation like the bump in his jacket, during the debate. And the media would just look silly asking the question, and it would be disrespectful, and not relevant. Because they really want to focus on serious stuff like haircuts. No, they don't care what an alcoholic is drinking out of a paper bag at a ball game. Because EVEN if it was beer, I'm sure that they would easily find a reason to excuse it.

WingNut Excuses if it was Revealed Bush was Drinking Again

1. It's not a crime to drink beer!
   
   
2. Prove it.
   
   
3. Show us the empty can.
   
   
4. You can't prove it can you?
   
   
5. State your sources
   
   
6. You have no proof.
   
   
7. It was near beer anyway. I'll bet you want to test the left over liquid to confirm it really was near beer. Tin foil hat time!
   
   
8. Just because the President occasionally has a drink doesn't make him an alcoholic. He never admitted to being an alcoholic anyway.
   
   
9. I suppose you want a special investigator to find out "the truth".
   
   
10. The AA method of never drinking again is not the only way to deal with alcoholism. Besides, the President never attended AA meetings.
    
    
11. I thought the liberals would have more sympathy, you are always calling it a disease, maybe your compassion only applies to people who are Hollywood liberals like Lindsey Lohan who go to rehab and get a free pass.
    
    
12. Hey didn't your beloved "San Francisco Values" Mayor have a drinking problem? You don't kick him out of office for it or his woman problems.
    
    
13. You are hypocrites if you don' t demand that Gavin resign for his drinking problem! Besides do you really think that they would let Bush drink in public?
    
    
14. This is a non-issue and the fact that liberals are focusing on it proves they have no new ideas or solutions.
    
    
15. They just hate our troops and many of the troops voted for Bush because he's their kind of guy, a beer drinkin' guy.
    
    
16. He's the kind of guy you could have a beer with, you are just jealous because nobody wanted to have a beer with Al Gore or John Kerry.
    
    
17. Hillary probably says she drinks beer, but really drinks Cosmopolitans or Mojitos like those gay men and women in Sex in the City.
    
    
18. A real Presidential candidate would drink American beer, or whiskey, neat. That's what Fred Thompson drinks.
    
    
19. In heaven, where Bush is going, there is no beer. That's why he drinks it here.
    
    
20. Bush is just getting back to his roots as a guy who drinks beer with other real men.
    
    
21. I don't see what the problem is, it's not like he is "on-duty".
    
    
22. He wasn't drunk! There were no breath tests! There was no proof of his BAC! Besides, in case of an emergency President Cheney would have acted.
    
    
23. It's not like there were any real US threats the week of the Fourth of July anyway. The US threats were vague and didn't tell the date, time, or methods of attack. The threats are all over in Britain, Iraq and Afghanistan because we are safe here because he's the President.
    
    
24. When Hillary is President we won't be safe and all the Presidential soberness in the world won't stop the terrorists from attacking once she is President and wants to "use her words."
    
    
25. I'm sure it's a one time thing.
    
    
26. Now I suppose you will bring up the pretzel incident, can't you people "move on" and get over it all ready?
    
    
27. Lots of sober people get a pretzel caught in their throat, pass out and hit their head on a coffee table. Alcohol had NOTHING to do with it.
    
    
28. On WorldNetDaily and in the Washington Times they have hundreds of stories about people passing out from pretzels, but the drive by media never report on it so you never hear about it. You only hear about it on Drudge, talk radio and Fox-- thank god they exist or we would never know anything.
    
    
29. There goes your Bush Derangement Syndrome!
    
    
30. You call Rush a drug addict all the time, where is your compassion for him and his substance abuse problems?
    
    
31. Rush was sympathetic to Al Gore III for his drug and speeding problem, where was your sympathy for Rush?
    
    
32. Shouldn't you give us credit because Rush has sympathy for Al Gore III?
    
    
33. Haven't you ever drank a beer on a hot day?
    
    
34. Let me guess, you drink a Pink Lady when it's hot outside.
    
    
35. I'll bet John Edward's drinks mint "jewlips" or Pink Ladies when he goes to polo matches, he wouldn't be caught watching a real man's sport.
    
    
36. Did you notice it was an American beer Bush drank, not some foo foo French beer?
    
    
37. The bag was there to cover up the near beer because the moonbats went nuts over the shot of him drinking the near beer in Germany. The White House just wanted to avoid useless speculation from crackpots with keyboards.
    
    
38. Why shouldn't the President be able to drink a beer like the regular guys at the park?
    
    
39. This will actually boost his ratings., everyone sort of likes guys who drink beer at the ball game, except for the real whack-jobs.

Police Baffled By Bottle-Shaped Paper Bag

April 21, 1999 | Issue 35•15

BRIDGEPORT, CT—Local police officials are "utterly baffled" by a bottle-shaped paper bag that local resident Jimmy Kilty held while sitting on an East Side strip-mall bench Monday.

"It's a real mystery," said Sgt. Ted Vittorio of the Bridgeport Police Department. "Judging from the way he kept putting the paper bag up to his mouth, you'd think he was drinking something out of it. But obviously he wasn't, since paper can't hold liquid. It would soak right through instantly."

Vittorio said he was making his normal patrol of the area when he noticed Kilty clutching the strange bag.

"It's part of my job to monitor for loitering and public intoxication, so when I spotted Kilty sitting on the bench, I slowed down to survey the scene," Vittorio said. "I thought maybe he was drinking, but, as it turned out, he was just repeatedly putting a paper bag up to his face. Such behavior may be strange, but it's certainly not illegal, so I moved on."

Enlarge Image

The mysterious paper bag that has confounded Sgt. Ted Vittorio (inset) and other police officers.

Read the rest of this Onion story here. The Onion, America's Finest News Source.

UPDATED 07/07/07: Added a few excuses I expect to hear and I formated them to be easier to read.
("They Moonbats edit the posts where they make up stuff because they can't handle criticism.")