If Right-wing Talk Radio Hosts Were Alive in 1776

After reading Athenae's brilliant hyperlinking to the Declaration of Independence I wonder what the talk radio hosts of the day would be saying about the founding fathers and their comments about the king?

"King George is the kind of guy you can have an ale with!"

"With this "Declaration of Independence" (a fancy name for treasonous whining if you ask me), Hancock and his ilk will be forcing the King to send more of his troops HERE. If these whiners don't like the rules they should go to England and fight them there instead of bringing the battle here! Hancock's actions will embolden the King's troops! Hancock is the wealthiest man in New England. Hancock Manor, with it's massive brownstone walls, made out of imported granite sits in the snootiest spot on the top of Beacon Hill. Yet he pretends to care about the good of all the people? Balderdash!

"Did you notice that fancy signature that HandCOCK made? I'm not saying he is light in his buckled boots buttttt... Has anyone noticed what an expensive wig he has? The fancy gold braid on his coat? How snugly his breeches fit? Put it all together folks. Expensive wig, tight breeches, flamboyant handwriting? I'm just saying..."